Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
