Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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