3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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