Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
