Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
