i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
