I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
