He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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