I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
