He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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