Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
