Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
