you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
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