And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
