do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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