If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
