At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
