I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
