This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
