haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
