That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
