Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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