I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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