I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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