After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
wakey wakey hands off snakey
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
