My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
