shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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