Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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