Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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