she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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