If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
