he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I need a burrito and a hug.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
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