ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
