he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
