it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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