just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
