ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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