I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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