Buhtt sex?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
