so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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