Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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