we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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