And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
