She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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