how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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