So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize