Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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