after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
