Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
