I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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